Communication as an Art of Living

How can we listen better to each other? How can we offer criticism without being hurtful? Why do communication recipes never work? In this book, Friedemann Schulz von Thun and Bernhard Poerksen, two prominent representatives of communication psychology and media studies, provide an introduction to modern communication psychology. Written in dialogic form to be both humorous and serious, this book explores questions around communication and relationships, as well as around communication and the inner self. It presents easy-to-understand and practical communication models that can be adapted for a variety of settings, from coaching and teaching to mediation to consultancy. Designed to help people communicate more successfully, this engaging book will be useful for therapists, counselors, coaches, and professional groups who want to improve communication for themselves and their teams. It will also be of interest to students of Communication Psychology and Communication Science.

Bernhard Poerksen is Professor of Media Studies at the University of Tübingen, Germany. He has a particular research interest in the new media age and has written about systemic thinking. His most recent book publication in English is Digital Fever: Taming the Big Business of Disinformation (2022). Friedemann Schulz von Thun is Professor Emeritus at the University of Hamburg. Germany. He became widely known for his trilogy Miteinander reden (Let's Talk!), which has long been considered a standard work in the field of communication. Since 2007, he has directed the Schulz von Thun Institute for Communication. His bestselling books are among the most widely read works of psychology in the German-speaking countries.

Praise for the German Edition Preface The Dialogic Principle: A Preface by Bernhard Poerksen I. The Big Questions 1. The Communication Square Searching for the key sentence The power of the receiver Hermeneutics of the listener In praise of misunderstanding History of an idea Of humans and machines Application of a model 2. Maxims of Comprehensibility The practice of parody The four comprehensibility dimensions Karl Popper's taunts The three-world typology The limits of communication 3. Vicious Circles and Relationship Dynamics No beginning and no end Victims and perpetrators Power comes from obedience No more either-or The simultaneity of different things Autonomy and dependence The double focus Theory and biography 4. The Ideal of Congruence The narcissistic dilemma The primal need of the soul Abraham Maslow's rant Maximum and optimum authenticity True to self and situation The situation model Higher-order sovereignty From norm to option Leading a congruent life 5. Communication with the Inner Self The parallelism proposition Self-paralysis and self-sabotage The charisma puzzle Stages of self-clarification A pluralism-friendly attitude Against exile The power of metaphor 6. The Values Square and Views of Human Nature The third quality A guide to dialectical thinking Farewell to one-sidedness Varieties of integration Human nature Freedom and conditionability Stanley Milgram's experiment II. The Concrete Questions 1. Communication Psychology for Managers and Executives Double-vision consultancy Triple pressure The integral leader Higher-order compromise The values square as feedback square Explicit and implicit meta-communication Competition means dependence 2. Communication Psychology for Teachers Freedom and coercion One child's school experience The construction of self-images Training the swan perspective 3. Communication Psychology and the Construction of Reality in Intercultural Communication The ambiguous kiss Justifying the norm First- and second-order reality Understanding versus refutation III. The Last Questions 1. Happiness and Death The end of communication Self-determination and acceptance of fate Vicious and virtuous circles The certainty of uncertainty Searching for Congruence in Communication and Life: An Afterword by Friedemann Schulz von Thun Selected Bibliography About the Authors