Attuned and Attached

An empathetic, accessible, research-backed guide to creating healthy, secure, attuned relationships by exploring the roots of your own emotional disconnection.
Not only is deep, meaningful connection with others something we yearn for, research shows that connection has profound effects on our overall health. Yet so many of us have feelings of loneliness and dissatisfaction with our personal relationships, feeling misattuned, misunderstood, or emotionally distant--and confused about why that may be. In Attuned and Attached licensed professional counselor Yolanda Renteria shares practical strategies to help us take a deeper look at our current relationships and identify our emotional disconnections, which tend to present as: - Hyper-independence, never asking for help - Highly functional, high achieving, perfectionistic - Expressions of love by doing a lot for others or gift giving - Difficulty listening during conflict, difficulty apologizing - Deep desire for connection mixed with strong instinct to self-protect
Once we know our patterns, we can then: - Identify safe people and healthy relationships - Feel safer in current relationships - Set realistic and healthy relationship expectations - Enhance emotional connections - Repair relationships after a rupture or misattunement - Develop resources to feel connected more often
By blending clinical research with her own experience of emotional disconnection, Yolanda invites the reader on a healing journey through understanding and validation. Emotional disconnection isn't wrong; it's caused by myriad factors throughout one's life. But there is a way forward. Yolanda's work especially speaks to those who feel that they had a fine or "good enough" childhood, but still feel emotionally disconnected, lost, and unfilled in their relationships. Whether you identify disconnection in yourself or in someone close to you, you will learn how to bring more safety and vulnerability into your relationships for nourishing, peaceful, and fulfilling connections.

Yolanda Renteria is a Mexican-American immigrant and Licensed Professional Counselor and Somatic Therapist. She works in private practice and contracts with Community Mental Health to provide trauma services for underserved communities. Yolanda is trained in EMDR, Somatic Experiencing, Brainspotting, and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. In addition to her impressive Instagram community (206K followers as of 7/2/2025), she runs Yolanda Renteria, PLLC, where she provides Somatic Processing Sessions, psychoeducational workshops, and speaking services.
Yolanda writes articles for The Gottman Institute, is a medical reviewer for Verywell Mind and hosts a Spanish Mental Health Podcast for Mexican-Americans millennials. She utilizes Instagram, Tiktok, Threads and X to help adults break generational cycles with their parents and children. She has been interviewed by Parents Latina, NPR Life Kit, Selena Gomez's Wondermind, People.com, Verywell Mind, and Viva La Mujer, among many others, and was a Keynote Speaker at Evanston High School and Family Action Network (FAN) in 2023. She regularly collaborates with other social media creators and recently joined #WeHearHer Advocacy Council. Aside from her work in mental health, she is an Adjunct Faculty Psychology Professor at Northern Arizona University. She lives with her family in San Luis, Arizona.