Sex On The Wrong Brain

In 'Sex On The Wrong Brain', Ard Falten wraps zany science fiction around the theory that humanity is doomed because we're sending impatient satisfaction-demanding sex energy to the mathematical, logical parts of the brain, where it creates greed, fear, and authoritarianism.
Within days of finding an alien supertool Lulu Lopez is on the run and up to her ears in sex zombies, alien hunters, and the king of talk radio, her nemesis since the third grade. He's convinced half the country Lulu's the witch who's causing the world-wide epidemic of nose and elbow mutations and it's time to bring back public exorcisms. Meanwhile, with global warming getting bad fast, an intergalactic maintenance man struggles to find the ancient alien 'transmitter' that will reestablish true human nature and end thousands of years of greed, patriarchy, and environmental destruction. He'll take any help he can get, from prairie dogs to the Pope, but he and Earth are running out of time. What he really needs is a date with Lulu.