Shyness & Love

Shyness & Love covers the only major study conducted to date on social anxiety disorder as it is manifested in informal, unstructured, male/female dating and courtship situations. It focuses on the causes-both biomedical as well as situational-of "love-shyness" and the consequences for those afflicted with it. Gilmartin also discusses promising treatment modalities and what schools and communities can do to prevent severe love-shyness from developing in the first place.
Shyness & Love examines the early family life as well as the peer group interactions of love-shy men. The book provides many statistical comparisons between the sampled love-shys and a comparison group of non-love-shy males of normal (but not superior) social self-confidence levels. These statistical comparisons allow for some informed speculations regarding the numerous interacting causes that underlie social phobia in informal, unstructured, heterosexual social situations. These statistical comparisons also provide the reader with some powerful suggestions regarding ways the American social structure (e.g., schools, family life, and communities) might be rearranged so that severe and intractable forms of love-shyness would never have an opportunity to develop in growing boys and teenagers in the first place.
Since the publication of the first edition of this book, it has been determined that as many as forty percent of men afflicted with love-shyness are simultaneously comorbid for Asperger's Syndrome, also known as high-functioning autism. As many as half of all love-shy males are comorbid for the "male lesbian syndrome," sometimes also referred to as the "passive, non-competitive male syndrome." This second edition contains a new foreword that presents the latest findings in love-shyness research. It is more concise than the original Shyness & Love, yet retains the most significant chapters.

Brian G. Gilmartin was born in Newark, New Jersey. He has taught at three campuses in the California State University system as well as at Virginia Tech, Auburn University, and East Tennessee State University. He retired from full-time teaching in 2010 after having taught at Montana State University-Northern for twenty-three years. His most recent book is How to Excel at Parenting: 33 Proven Success Strategies.

List of Figures Foreword Acknowledgments Chapter 1: Introduction What Is Love-Shyness? Love-Shyness is a Serious Problem Viewing Someone to Love as a Cure-All Normative Timetables of Self-Revelation Why This Book? Love-Shyness Costs Society Money Plan of the Book PART ONE: THE BIOLOGICAL UNDERPINNINGS OF LOVE-SHYNESS Chapter 2: Love-Shyness and the Nature versus Nurture Debate The Phenomenon of Inborn Temperament The Work of Hans J. Eysenck Love-Shyness and the Inborn Anxiety Threshold The Importance of Social Stimulus Value The Work of Alexander Thomas The Jerome Kagan Work The Importance of Enzymes Some Related Work on Depression Biogenic Amines Anxiety Disease Dopamine Schizophrenia Obsessive-Compulsive Disorders Conclusions Chapter 3: Societal Reactions and Elastic Limits The "Wish Bone Effect" The Sociological Perspective Every Group Needs a Deviant The "Apperceptive Mass" Concept Conclusions PART TWO: THE RESEARCH STUDY AND THE DATA IT UNCOVERED Chapter 4: How the Information Was Obtained Who is "Love-Shy?" Why Study Men Only? The "Felt Deprivation" Concept The "Closet Heterosexual" Concept The "Male Lesbian" Concept The Prevalence of Love-Shyness How the Respondents Were Obtained The Importance of LOVE-Shyness Summary Chapter 5: Love-Shyness: Its Intrauterine Beginnings The East German Research My Own Findings Love-Shys as Quiet Babies Chapter 6: Family Composition Brothers and Sisters Quality of Parents' Marriages Conclusions Chapter 7: Love-Shyness and the All-Male Peer Group The Key Importance for Dating of Friendship Networks The Harlow Research The Polish Peasant Bullying Frailness of Body Build Masculine Toys The Baseball, Basketball and Football Syndrome Most People Know What Is in Their Best Interests Current Peer Group Interaction Chapter 8: Beauty and the Love-Shy The Need for Beauty The Love-Shys' Own Esthetic Attributes Beauty and the Older Love-Shys Cloning as a Future Option Accentuating the Positive Summary PART THREE: THERAPY AND PREVENTION Chapter 9: Practice-Dating Therapy Behaviour Therapy Approaches The "Practice-Dating" Model Chapter 10: Some Therapeutic Adjuncts The Nude Jacuzzi Experience Therapy Employing Sexual Surrogates Bibliotherapy Why Not Simply Use Commercial Dating Services? Self-Image Psychology as a Therapeutic Adjunct Self-Image Therapy Some Rejoinders for Traditional Psychotherapists Chapter 11: Some Recommendations Concerning Prevention Research on Gene Splicing Bullying The Cruellest Bully of All Some Recommendations Concerning Dogs Coeducational Dormitories: Their Limitations The "Harrad" Dormitory Option The Psychic Healing of Important Enzymes The Effect of Increasing Social Interaction The High School Curriculum Ballroom Dancing Religion Encounter Groups Might Fraternity Membership Help? Use of Autistic Adolescent Girls Chapter 12: Some Final Thoughts A Different Philosophy What Is Needed Judging a Person by Their Actions Elementary School Children Postscript