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But for me, it was love. It felt like love. Or the closest I've ever come to love. And I wanted to say thank you. For that.
Mary's been sleeping with strangers across Scotland for eight months. Tonight's conquest: Mike, an American tourist who's never heard of KFC.
After the best sex of her life, she tells him what she's been hiding. Then he tells her what he's been hiding.
An explosive two-hander from award-winning writer David Ireland (The Fifth Step; Cyprus Avenue) that offers a sharp and hilarious exploration of faith and loneliness in a Travelodge.
This edition was published to coincide with the run at Soho Theatre, London, in December 2025.

David Ireland is from Belfast and trained as an actor at the Royal Scottish Academy of Music and Drama. His first play, WHAT THE ANIMALS SAY, was produced at Oran Mor, Glasgow in 2009. His other plays include EVERYTHING BETWEEN US (Tinderbox, Belfast) which won the Stewart Parker Award and the Meyer-Whitworth Award, THE END OF HOPE (Oran Mor), HALF A GLASS OF WATER (Field Day), YES SO I SAID YES (Ransom Productions, Belfast), CAN'T FORGET ABOUT YOU (Lyric, Belfast) and I PROMISE YOU SEX AND VIOLENCE (Northern Stage, Newcastle). In 2015, he adapted Lorca's BLOOD WEDDING for Dundee Rep and Graeae. His 2016 play CYPRUS AVENUE (Royal Court London/Abbey Theatre Dublin/Public Theatre NYC) won the Irish Times Award for Best New Play and the James Tait Black Award for Drama and in 2018 ULSTER AMERICAN (Traverse, Edinburgh) won a Scotsman Fringe First, the Carol Tambor Best of Edinburgh award and the Critics Award for Theatre in Scotland Award for Best New Play.
He lives in Glasgow with his wife Jennifer and his children Ada and Elijah.