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The Pickle Factory Eats Its Own
KRAY (not his true name) is a nonofficial-cover (NOC) operator for the CIA-a field officer who works without embassy backup, relying on nerve and ingenuity to recruit and run foreign agents for his country. Then Headquarters calls him home and drops him into its own maze, where initiative is a liability and successful operators are resented for creating work. At first, Kray plays along, hoping to outlast his bureaucratic tour and get back to real operations.
But the NOC program's success brings in a new congressional windfall-a multimillion-dollar stream earmarked to train more NOCs. Headquarters sees its moment. To keep the cash flowing, they must make sure it never produces anything that might tempt Congress to shut that spigot off. Enter Project GOOWIKI (the "Transformational Human Resources World-Wide Outreach Program"). The plan: spend every penny on consultants, stack headquarters with new hires, and promote layers of supervisors to manage them. Fieldwork? No way. Effective foreign operators only cause headaches HQ doesn't need.
Then a forward operating base abroad explodes. Officers and agents die. Headquarters springs into action-not to fix the problem, of course, but to cover its own backside. Meanwhile, Kray's reputation sinks exactly as intended. And when he returns to the field to find out if any of GOOWIKI's "2,000 NOCs" actually exist, Headquarters figures this may be the perfect time to solve the Kray problem. Permanently.
Fast, sharp, and bone-dry funny, D.M. Glennon's vast comic debut is Catch-22 with a security clearance, A Confederacy of Dunces with a nation on the line. Bureaucrats obsess over "Funny Names," mandatory trainings ("Talking On The Telephone," "Talking With Foreigners"), and cafeteria upgrades, while competence quietly bleeds out in the corner. Underneath the irony runs a hard moral line: contempt for cowardice, anger at waste, and respect for those who actually risk their lives for their country. None of which plays well-or at all-at the Pickle Factory.
Sam R. Oyken was a non-official cover officer for the CIA for over a decade, where he participated in agent development, foreign agent recruitment, and handling as well as covert operations in locales throughout Europe and Asia. He now lives and works in the U.S.
