Dice of Despair - A Story of Addiction, Loss and Triumph

Dice of Despair is a raw and courageous memoir chronicling the life of Sibongile Adelaide Nkabinde, a woman whose journey from a vibrant childhood in Soweto spirals into the depths of gambling addiction. Fueled by the thrill of dice games and slot machines, Sibongile loses nearly everything—her dignity, financial security, and precious time with her children. Her story reveals how a seemingly harmless pastime gradually mutated into a consuming addiction, with devastating emotional and psychological consequences.
Set against the backdrop of apartheid-era South Africa and the transitional years that followed, the book explores complex themes of trauma, resilience, and the impact of socio-economic realities on youth and community life. Sibongile openly shares childhood tragedies, including surviving a lightning strike that claimed her friends' lives, navigating poverty, witnessing township violence, and eventually succumbing to the false glamour of casinos and quick wins.
But this is not just a story of despair—it's a testament to the strength of the human spirit. With the love of her family, the support of her children, and an unwavering determination to heal, Sibongile rises above the grip of addiction. Her narrative is one of redemption, empowerment, and the hard-won triumph of reclaiming her life and purpose.
Dice of Despair is an honest, emotionally charged, and deeply human story that offers hope to anyone who has faced the darkness of addiction and seeks a way out.

Born and raised in Soweto, South Africa, I am a devoted mother of two and a dedicated public servant. For over 21 years, I have served my community as a member of the Johannesburg Metropolitan Police Department (JMPD). However, my journey has not been without challenges.
For 18 years, I battled a crippling gambling addiction—an experience that deeply affected my family and personal life. My path to recovery was long and arduous, but it ultimately transformed me, fueling a passion to share my story and help others facing similar struggles.
I believe that storytelling has the power to heal, educate, and empower. My goal is to use my personal experience to: Raise awareness about gambling addiction and mental health, Encourage open conversations about seeking help and breaking free from destructive cycles, Inspire individuals to reclaim their lives and find purpose beyond their struggles.