You Don't Have to Take it Anymore

From the bestselling author of How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking comes an enlightening exploration of the toxic relationship epidemic in America and advice on how to fix these abusive tendencies. As many as one-third of all American women tiptoe through life as if they are walking on eggshells. At home, they spend most of their time trying to avoid criticism, anger, put-downs, or cold shoulders from their husbands or boyfriends. This verbal and emotional abuse can erupt over anything and everything, matters large and small: housework, cooking, work, spending money, buying household items and clothes for the kids, and going out. Clearly, verbal and emotional abuse is a serious problem. Relationship expert Dr. Steven Stosny has been featured on national media for the revolutionary techniques he uses in his CompassionPower and Boot Camp programs, which help men rewire their resentment and anger, stop using emotionally abusive language and behavior, and compassionately recommit to their marriages and families. Now, in You Don't Have to Take It Anymore, Dr. Stosny puts his effective, highly sought-after program into print, making it widely available for the first time for women who want to stop walking on eggshells. Drawing on his seventeen years of experience treating thousands of clients, Dr. Stosny explains the many different forms a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship can take, how to identify abuse, and why it's important to take action to change the relationship. Dr. Stosny shows women and men how to apply his methods at home, shows women how to get their men to change, and demonstrates how they can know if change is permanent. Additionally, Dr. Stosny's program helps women recover from the pain and abuse by practicing self-healing skills so that they can reclaim their natural sense of competence and confidence. Using language that is more compassionate and accessible than in any other book on relationship abuse, You Don't Have to Take It Anymore presents a practical program that both women and men can use to stop verbal and emotional abuse.

Steven Stosny, Ph.D.

Contents Introduction: The Hidden Epidemic Visceral Fear of Harm How to Use This Book Self-Disclosure and Dedication 1 Why You Have Thorns in Your Heart Walking-on-Eggshells Quiz 2 How Love Is Meant to Work and Why It So Often Doesn't 3 The Mirror of Love 4 Why Marriage Counseling, Psychotherapy, Anger-Management, and Abuser Treatment Made It Worse Reclaiming the Self 5 Recovering Your Core Value 6 Removing the Thorns from Your Heart 7 Developing Your Natural Sense of Self, Competence, and Growth Postscript to Part II The Boot Camp Introduction to the Boot Camp 8 Commitment to Healing 9 Finding Your Real Power 10 Connecting with Your Core Value 11 HEALS: Automatically Regulating Resentment, Anger, and the Impulse to Criticize, Reject, or Abuse 12 The Power of Compassion 13 Your Wife Needs Time and Lots of Compassion to Recover 14 Reestablishing Connection 15 Preventing Relapse: Weekly and Monthly Checklists Resurrection for Your Marriage 16 How to Know That Change Is Permanent 17 Replacing Power Struggles with Mutual Empowerment 18 Rituals of Repair and Reconnection Postscript: The Light within You Appendix I: When Your Relationship Doesn't Make It Appendix II: Resentful, Angry, and Abusive Women Appendix III: Statistical Foundation of the Program Acknowledgments Index About the Author