To What Miserable Wretches Have I Been Born?

Q: How do you breed contempt? A: Have a baby. Hey. It's me. Your baby. Let me say, first off, that I love you. I do. You're a great parent. You do a lot of things right. I know how devoted you are to me and how invested you are in hitting this whole parenting thing out of the playground. Okay. Now that I've given you the validation I know you need, let's get a few things clear . . . I'm not as innocent as you think I am. You don't realize it because you're blinded by my sweet good looks, but I am aware of way more than I can convey. I feel more than I can express. I have more going on in my soft, little baby brain than you could possibly imagine. Until now. The book you're holding finally reveals the complexities and nuances of my life so far. From my point of view. Unapologetic. Unplugged. Unswaddled. Be warned . . . it's not always adorable.

SUZANNE WEBER is a writer perhaps best known for creating and performing the character Anita Liberty, a performance poet who achieves notoriety by devoting her entire career to humiliating her jerk of an ex-boyfriend in public. Weber penned three books as Anita Liberty – HOW TO HEAL THE HURT BY HATING, HOW TO STAY BITTER THROUGH THE HAPPIEST TIMES OF YOUR LIFE and the young adult title, THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE (YEP, THAT WOULD BE ME). Her short film, ANITA LIBERTY, was a Sundance selection and was co-written and directed by R.J. Cutler (The September Issue). A native New Yorker, Weber currently resides in Los Angeles where she writes television pilots and has started taking her coffee with soy milk. She lives with her husband and her daughter, a sassy little chip off her mother's block of contempt.