The Ten Basic Principles of Good Parenting

Most parents do a pretty good job of raising kids, says psychologist Laurence Steinberg, but truly effective parenting means not just relying on natural instincts but also on knowing what works and why. In The Ten Basic Principles of Good Parenting, Dr. Steinberg distills decades of research into a parenting book that explains the fundamentals of raising happy, healthy children, giving readers an invaluable map to help them navigate parenthood from infancy to adolescence. Dr. Steinberg found that the basic principles for effective parenting are simple and universal, and apply to all parents and children regardless of background. He explains each principle and shows how to put it into action, using anecdotes and examples: from “What You Do Matters” (parents make an enormous difference; children are not simply the product of their genes) to “Establish Rules and Limits” (how to provide structure in your child's life, and how to handle conflicts over rules) and “Help Foster Your Child's Independence” (help your child think through decisions instead of making them for him or her). Concise and authoritative, written with warmth and compassion, The Ten Basic Principles of Good Parenting is an intelligent guide to raising a happy, healthy child and to becoming a happier, more confident parent in the process.

Laurence Steinberg, PhD, is considered to be the world's leading authority on adolescence and young adulthood. He currently is the Distinguished University Professor and Laurel H. Carnell Professor of Psychology and Neuroscience at Temple University. In addition to authoring the leading college textbook on adolescence, just published in its thirteenth edition, Larry has authored or coauthored nearly 500 scholarly articles on adolescence as well as seventeen books. His trade books include The 10 Basic Principles of Good Parenting, which has been translated into ten other languages; You and Your Adolescent; and most recently, Age of Opportunity: Lessons from the New Science of Adolescence, which has been translated into seven other languages.

Contents Being a Better Parent Principle 1: What You Do Matters Be a Mindful Parent Genes Don't Make Parents Irrelevant Children Learn by Watching Handling Influences Outside the Family Learn from Your Mistakes Principle 2: You Cannot Be Too Loving Can You Spoil Your Child with Love? Expressing Physical Affection Praise Your Child's Accomplishments Responding to Your Child's Emotional Needs Providing a Safe Haven Principle 3: Be Involved in Your Child's Life Be Involved What Is Quality Time? Take an Interest in Your Child's Interests The Importance of School Involvement Avoid Intrusive Parenting Principle 4: Adapt Your Parenting to Fit Your Child Keep Pace with Your Child's Development Adjust Your Parenting to Your Child's Temperament Your Child Is Unique Have Patience During Developmental Transitions Your Changing Role as a Parent Principle 5: Establish Rules and Set Limits All Children Need Rules and Limits Be Firm, but Be Fair The Importance of Monitoring Handling Conflicts over Rules Relaxing Limits as Your Child Matures Principle 6: Help Foster Your Child's Independence Your Child's Need for Autonomy Coping with Oppositionalism and Argumentativeness Give Your Child Psychological Space Don't Micromanage Your Child's Life Protect When You Must, but Permit When You Can Principle 7: Be Consistent Be Consistent from Day to Day The Significance of Routines How Important Is a United Front? Be Consistent Without Being Rigid Identify Your Nonnegotiables Principle 8: Avoid Harsh Discipline Should Children Be Punished? Never Use Physical Punishment Don't Be Verbally Abusive Controlling Your Anger The Right Way to Punish Principle 9: Explain Your Rules and Decisions Be Clear About What You Expect Reasoning with Your Child "Because I Said So" Hear Your Child's Point of View Admit Your Mistakes Principle 10: Treat Your Child with Respect Getting and Giving Respect Have Two-Way Conversations "Don't Talk Back" Let Your Child Act His Age Children Treat Others the Way Their Parents Treat Them Index