A Life Well Lived

Manfred Kets de Vries wears many "hats"-psychoanalyst, executive coach, consultant, management educator, researcher, writer-but he has noticed that whichever hat he is wearing, every question he is asked boils down to one thing: "How can I live a well-lived life?" Over many years of practice in all these disciplines, Professor Kets de Vries has realized the unsurpassed value of stories in tackling human dilemmas and providing answers to this question. The book is, therefore, one of the most important books he has written for coaches, students, leaders, managers, educators-or anyone seeking a more reflective text to guide them through the multitude of questions that we face in work and in life. He draws on a long literary tradition of the unexpected encounter with a wise "other," fantastic or magical-think The Little Prince, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, The Once and Future King, the Harry Potter novels-to animate an exploration of the deepest questions and concerns of human beings. He constructs an extended Socratic dialogue between his two "selves"; the first a naïve traveler, lost in the Siberian wilderness, and the second a reflective avatar who comes to his aid. The avatar takes the form of a "kabouter," a familiar figure in Dutch folklore whose counterpart can be found in different cultures around the world and throughout centuries of storytelling. Through stories, riddles, and puzzles, the kabouter challenges the traveler to question and reflect upon his life and values, guiding him-and readers-toward the insights that will help them achieve a life well lived.

Manfred F. R. Kets de Vries is the Distinguished Clinical Professor of Leadership Development and Organizational Change at INSEAD and the Founder of INSEAD's Global Leadership Center. The Financial Times, Wirtschaftswoche, Le Capital, El Pais, and the Economist have rated him among the world's leading management thinkers. He is the author of more than 50 books and hundreds of articles, and the recipient of numerous awards, including four honorary doctorates.

DAY ONE 1. Walking in circles 2. The open mind 3. The sound of one hand 4. Deep listening 5. Look beneath the surface 6. Beyond appearances 7. The Golden Rule DAY TWO 8. Making promises 9. Integrity 10. Hypocrisy 11. Greed 12. Selfishness 13. Giving versus taking 14. Hubris 15. Liars 16. What's all the gossip about gossip? DAY THREE 17. The streetlight effect 18. Self-fulfilling prophecies DAY FOUR 19. Ritualization 20. Anger 21. Compromise 22. Deal with your neuroses 23. Dreaming 24. Daydreaming 25. Transference 26. Paradoxical intervention 27. Courage DAY FIVE 28. Encouragement 29. Good judgment 30. Sexual desire 31. Staying grounded 32. Self-care 33. Self-compassion 34. Carpe diem 35. Education 36. Hope 37. The expiry date