What Is Compersion?

Based on seminal research with consensually non-monogamous (CNM) individuals, Dr. Marie Thouin elucidates this question of compersion from several lenses and introduces the first comprehensive and applicable model of compersion—an essential tool for scholars, therapists, and CNM individuals alike.

Marie Thouin, PhD is the author of What Is Compersion? Understanding Positive Empathy in Consensually Non-Monogamous Relationships, the first-ever comprehensive scholarly book on compersion. She has been featured in several magazines and podcasts, including ELLE, the Savage Lovecast, and Multiamory. Thouin has also published seminal research studies, the first encyclopedia entry on compersion, and is the creator of www.whatiscompersion.com, a popular website that features her research, blogs, media appearances, and a list of resources on the topic of compersion. Founder of Love InSight, a mindful dating and relationship coaching practice, Dr. Thouin supports and guides people of all backgrounds and relational orientations to create intentional and vibrant love lives.

Acknowledgments Foreword by Jessica Fern Introduction What Is Compersion? Compersion and Buddhism Prevalence of Consensual Non-Monogamy Mononormativity and Compersion How Is Compersion Relevant to Monogamous People? The Research behind This Book Contributions and Relevance of This Book Should Compersion Always Be the Goal? Overview of the Book Notes Chapter 1: Developing a Non-Mononormative Relationship to Jealousy as a Foundation for Compersion The Entanglement of Jealousy and Mononormativity Different Types of Jealousy Essentialist, Cross-Cultural, and Socially Constructed Perspectives on Jealousy Jealousy and Power Dynamics in CNM Relationships How CNM People Relate to Jealousy Differently: The Advent of Non-Mononormative Jealousy The Malleability of Jealousy Notes Part I: Components of Compersion Chapter 2: Positive Empathy What Is Empathy? Participants' Accounts of Positive Empathy Notes Chapter 3: Gratitude Participants' Accounts of Gratitude Is Compersion Selfish or Selfless? Notes Part II: Dimensions of Compersion Chapter 4: Two Kinds of Compersion: Attitudinal and Embodied Attitudinal Compersion Embodied Compersion Is Compersion Necessary? Congruence with Previous Research Notes Chapter 5: Spectrum of Compersion Understanding the Spectrum Is the Spectrum Linear? Is the Spectrum Hierarchical? Other Flavors of Compersion Chapter 6: Coexistence of Jealousy and Compersion Participants' Accounts of Jealousy and Compersion Coexisting Comperstruggle Fluidity between Jealousy and Compersion Explanatory Frameworks for the Coexistence of Jealousy and Compersion Part III: A Compersion Roadmap Chapter 7: What Promotes Compersion? Grouping 1: Individual Factors Grouping 2: Relational Factors Grouping 3: Social Factors Notes Chapter 8: What Hinders Compersion? Grouping 1: Individual Factors Grouping 2: Relational Factors Grouping 3: Social Factors Notes Part IV: A Comprehensive Model of Compersion Chapter 9: A Proposed Theory of Compersion Congruency and Exceptions A Dual Control Model of Compersion Applying the Model in Practice Notes Part V: Social Lenses on Compersion Chapter 10: The Role of Coming Out and Pride in Compersion What Is Coming Out? Identity Development and Coming Out for CNM People CNM Resilience, Coming Out, and Compersion CNM Identity Development Based on Perception of Innateness versus Choice Chapter 11: Social Positionality and Compersion The Research Process Is Compersion a Privileged Emotion? The Surprising Impact of Compounded Discrimination Compersion as Resistance Compersion and Age or Stage of Life Compersion and Disability Compersion and Gender Sexual Orientation and Compersion Race and Compersion Socioeconomic Status and Compersion Conclusion: The Double-Edged Sword of Otherness Part VI: Concluding Thoughts Chapter 12: Can Compersion Be Learned? Learning by Creating a "Fertile Terrain" Learning by Example Learning by Unlearning Learning by Shifting Paradigms Learning through Practice Learning by Cultivating Empathy Learning by Doing Conclusion Notes Chapter 13: Parting Words: Compersion, Personal Transformation, and Social Change Notes References Index About the Author