Meeting the Shadow on the Spiritual Path

A guide to rekindling spiritual inspiration after betrayal and disillusionment • Explains why we are drawn to charismatic leaders, what we unconsciously give away to them, and how to reclaim our inner spiritual authority • Explores how to recover from spiritual abuse or betrayal by a teacher or group, including breaking free of denial, projection, and dependency using psychology and shadow-work • Extends #MeToo into the spiritual domain and tells the stories of contemporary clergy and spiritual leaders who acted out their shadows in destructive ways, leaving their followers traumatized and lost Within each of us is a spiritual longing that prompts us to unite with something greater than ourselves, to awaken to our unity with all of life. Yet, no matter the spiritual path we choose, we inevitably encounter our own shadow, those unconscious aspects of ourselves that we suppress or deny, or the shadows of our teachers and their secret desires about money, sex, and power. Meeting the shadow can derail the journey, but, according to Connie Zweig, Ph.D., we can learn to recover from loss of faith and move from spiritual naivete to spiritual maturity. Calling on us to expand our vision of religious and spiritual life—and our vision of awakening—to include the human shadow, Zweig examines the yearning that sets us on the spiritual path, showing how it can lead to ecstatic, transcendent experiences or to terrible suffering by projecting it onto an authoritarian teacher, priest, or guru who abuses power. She tells the stories of renowned teachers—Sufi poet Rumi, Hindu master Ramakrishna, and Christian saint Catherine of Siena—whose lives unfolded as they followed their spiritual yearning. And she tells the cautionary tales of contemporary teachers of Buddhism, Hinduism, and Catholicism, who acted out their shadows in devastating ways, leaving their followers traumatized and lost. She explains how meeting the shadow is a painful but inevitable stage on the path to a more mature spirituality. She describes how to use spiritual shadow-work to separate from abusive teachers, reclaim inner spiritual authority, and heal from betrayal. With guidance for both inspired and disillusioned seekers, the author explores how to navigate the narrow path through the darkness toward the light, rekindle the flame of longing, and once again engage in fulfilling spiritual practice.

Connie Zweig, Ph.D., is a retired psychotherapist, former executive editor at Jeremy P. Tarcher Publishing, former columnist for Esquire magazine, and contributor to the LA Times. Known as the Shadow Expert, she is the coauthor of Meeting the Shadow and Romancing the Shadow and author of a novel, A Moth to the Flame: The Life of the Sufi Poet Rumi. She lives in California.

PREFACE TO THE NEW EDITION A Call for Spiritual Awakening A Call for Shadow Awareness PROLOGUE My Longing for the Light A Meditation on Up PART 1 Before the Fall A Guide for Faithful Believers ONE The Holy Longing Awakening to Holy Longing God Longs for Us as We Long for God The Inner Marriage: A Story of Holy Longing in the Sufi Poet Rumi TWO Longing for God The Hidden Object of Desire The Changing God Image: Involution or Down The Changing God Image: Evolution or Up The Inner Marriage: A Story of Holy Longing in the Hindu Master Ramakrishna THREE Longing for the Human Beloved The Search for Romantic Union Beloved as Parent: The Psychology of Love Beloved as God: The Archetypes of Love The Inner Marriage: A Story of Holy Longing in the Sufi Lovers Majnun and Layla FOUR Longing for the Divine Human The Search for Spiritual Communion Priest or Teacher as Parent: The Psychology of Spirituality Priest or Teacher as God: The Archetypes of Spirituality Priest or Teacher as Divine Human: The Teacher/Student Relationship The Inner Marriage: A Story of Holy Longing in the Christian Saint Catherine of Siena PART 2 After the Fall A Guide for Disillusioned Believers FIVE Meeting Spiritual Shadow Darkness on the Path Encountering the Spiritual Other: The Breakdown of Communion Tales of Religious and Spiritual Abuse SIX Understanding Spiritual Abuse Detecting the Patterns across Denominations The Consequences of Spiritual Abuse Who Is Susceptible to Spiritual Abuse? Meeting the Shadow of Addiction Death and Transcendence MIDLOGUE My Longing for the Dark A Meditation on Down SEVEN Rekindling the Flame Shadow-Work for Spiritual Abuse and Disillusionment Communal Shadow-Work Individual Shadow-Work EPILOGUE TO THE NEW EDITION Through the Shadow to the Light Acknowledgments APPENDIX ONE The Association for Spiritual Integrity (ASI) Code of Ethics and Good Practice APPENDIX TWO The Code of Ethics for Insight Meditation Society (IMS) Teachers Bibliography Index About the Author