The Funniest People in Books, Volume 2: 250 Anecdotes

Some sample anecdotes: • Many people read and enjoy J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings and the good guys' fight against the evil of Mordor. Some of those who read it in college are activists. One campus cut down a pleasant grove of trees to make room for an ugly "Cultural Center" made of concrete blocks. Students detested the cutting down of trees, and on the ugly building someone wrote, "Another bit of Mordor." • After humorist Art Buchwald's kidneys failed, he decided to enter Hospice and to decline dialysis. He also, however, decided to write a book about dying titled Too Soon to Say Goodbye and was able to continue joking while dying. When his lawyer, Bob Barnett, visited him, Mr. Buchwald told him, "If you can get me seven million dollars for my book like you got for Hillary Clinton, I'll start dialysis." • A game that Alistair Cooke and his friends played was trying to tell a person's occupation by looking at their photograph. One friend would cut photographs of people who were not famous from newspapers and magazines. Each photograph was pasted on a piece of paper, and the game players were also given a sheet of paper that listed the occupations of the people in the photographs. As it happened, no one was very good at matching face and occupation — high scores were 20 or 25 percent accuracy. Most of the players felt certain that a person in one photograph was a murderer — he turned out to be a judge. • When writer Dick DeBartolo began writing for MAD magazine, he quickly discovered that the employees engaged in a lot of good-natured ribbing. For example, he once brought a comic article to his boss, Nick Meglin, who laughed and laughed while reading the article. However, when Mr. DeBartolo asked which jokes he had laughed at most, Mr. Meglin replied, "None of the jokes. I was laughing at the typos. God, are you an awful speller!" (Don't feel bad for Mr. DeBartolo — for a span of several years, every issue of MAD included at least one article by him.)

It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly a cry rang out, and on a hot summer night in 1954, Josephine, wife of Carl Bruce, gave birth to a boy — me. Unfortunately, this young married couple allowed Reuben Saturday, Josephine's brother, to name their first-born. Reuben, aka "The Joker," decided that Bruce was a nice name, so he decided to name me Bruce Bruce. I have gone by my middle name — David — ever since. Being named Bruce David Bruce hasn't been all bad. Bank tellers remember me very quickly, so I don't often have to show an ID. It can be fun in charades, also. When I was a counselor as a teenager at Camp Echoing Hills in Warsaw, Ohio, a fellow counselor gave the signs for "sounds like" and "two words," then she pointed to a bruise on her leg twice. Bruise Bruise? Oh yeah, Bruce Bruce is the answer! Uncle Reuben, by the way, gave me a haircut when I was in kindergarten. He cut my hair short and shaved a small bald spot on the back of my head. My mother wouldn't let me go to school until the bald spot grew out again.

Of all my brothers and sisters (six in all), I am the only transplant to Athens, Ohio. I was born in Newark, Ohio, and have lived all around Southeastern Ohio. However, I moved to Athens to go to Ohio University and have never left. At Ohio U, I never could make up my mind whether to major in English or Philosophy, so I got a bachelor's degree with a double major in both areas, then I added a Master of Arts degree in English and a Master of Arts degree in Philosophy. Yes, I have my MAMA degree.

Currently, and for a long time to come (I eat fruits and veggies), I am spending my retirement writing books such as Nadia Comaneci: Perfect 10, The Funniest People in Comedy, Homer's Iliad: A Retelling in Prose, and William Shakespeare's Hamlet: A Retelling in Prose. If all goes well, I will publish one or two books a year for the rest of my life. (On the other hand, a good way to make God laugh is to tell Her your plans.) By the way, my sister Brenda Kennedy writes romances such as A New Beginning and Shattered Dreams.