And the Passenger Was Death

"Our culture celebrates life and youth, but does not prepare us for the premature death of our children. Out of his intense personal grief, which ordinarily is isolating, Doug Daher enables us to understand the vitality of relating and the dynamics of healing in recovering from the death of one's child. This eloquent testimony to the resilience of the human spirit works brilliantly at so many levels of analysis from personal grieving, up through social support and ritual networks, and down to the business systems engulfing death. And the Passenger Was Death takes us on a moving journey--we'd all rather avoid, but eventually must take--conducting us through alien terrain in a most caring, inquisitive and therapeutically vital way."Phil Zimbardo, President American Psychological Association
"For something as universal as death, it comes as a shock to find how unique each death is. But that is because a death breaks a specific relationship. Daher's book gives a painfully clear picture of one particular death--that of the young-adult son who meant so much to his father and for whom he had such high hopes. Step by step, Daher takes us through his devastating experience. Readers will be both moved and educated by going through it with him."William Bridges, author of: The Way of Transition: Embracing Life's Most Difficult Moment
"An extraordinarily poignant diary-like read written by a grieving parent who chronicles his journey of grief. From the first moment of pain and disbelief through the funeral and the police investigation, hoping beyond hope that the question 'Why' would be answered. And then the realization that 'Why' would offer no solace.
"Dr Daher's unique position as PhD psychologist and bereaved father are obvious in the human struggle that presents itself as his journey of healing unfolds. A classic narration on the spiral nature of grief and mourning. It is rich with reminiscences and ritual. "Marilyn S. Walke, Director of Client Care, Centre for Living with Dying

Douglas Daher

Introduction ACT I-First Week The Delivery The Ride The Confusion The Planning The First Night The Company The Detective The Visit The Dream The Informing The Wake The Funeral The Circle ACT II-Players Protection Matching Stars Cleared Eyes Cracking Glass ACT III-Inside The Crying The Despair The Anger The Longing The Remembering The Forgetting The Loss The Attachment ACT IV-Systems The Bank The Worker's Compensation The Insurance The Preamble The Lawsuit ACT V-Rituals Tree Planting Ashes Second Anniversary ACT VI-Healing Relationships Conclusion Postscript Resources References Index