It's So Much Work to Be Your Friend

As any parent, teacher, coach, or caregiver of a learning disabled child knows, every learning disability has a social component. The ADD child constantly interrupts conversations and doesn't follow directions. The child with visual-spatial issues loses his belongings and causes his siblings to be late to school. The child with paralinguistic difficulties appears stiff and wooden because she fails to gesture when she talks. These children are socially out of step with their classmates and peers, and often they are ridiculed or ostracized for their differences. A successful social life is immeasurably important to a child's happiness, health, and development, but until now, no book has provided practical, expert advice on helping learning disabled children achieve social success. For more than thirty years, Richard Lavoie has lived with and taught learning disabled children. His bestselling PBS videos, including How Difficult Can This Be?: The F.A.T. City Workshop, and his sellout lectures and workshops have made him one of the most popular and respected experts in the field. At last, Rick's pioneering techniques for helping children achieve a happy and successful social life are available in book form. It's So Much Work to Be Your Friend offers practical strategies to help learning disabled children ages six through seventeen navigate the treacherous social waters of their school, home, and community. Rick examines the special social issues surrounding a wide variety of learning disabilities, including ADD and other attentional disorders, anxiety, paralinguistics, visual-spatial disorders, and executive functioning. Then he provides proven methods and step-by-step instructions for helping the learning disabled child through almost any social situation, including choosing a friend, going on a playdate, conducting a conversation, reading body language, overcoming shyness and low self-esteem, keeping track of belongings, living with siblings, and adjusting to new settings and situations. Perhaps the most important component of this book is the author's compassion. It comes through on every page that Rick feels the intensity with which children long for friends and acceptance, the exasperation they can cause in others, and the joy they feel in social connection. It's So Much Work to Be Your Friend answers the most intense yet, until now, silent need of the parents, teachers, and caregivers of learning disabled children -- or anyone who is associated with a child who needs a friend.

Richard Lavoie

Getting in Good Dr. Mel Levine Preface Rob and Michele Reiner Introduction: "The Other Sixteen Hours" Part One Why Do They Do the Things They Do?: The Impact of Learning Disorders on the Development of Social Skills One Children with Learning Disorders Are Wired Differently: It's All in Their Heads Two Anxiety: A Cause and Consequence of Social Isolation Three Language Difficulties: Getting and Giving the Message Four Paralinguistics: Words Carry the Message, Body Language Carries the Emotion Five Attention Deficit Disorder: The Social Lives of the Unhappy Wanderers Part Two Social Skills on the Homefront: Dealing with Parents, Siblings, and Other Strangers Six Enhancing Organizational Skills: Bringing Order and Structure to the Disorganized Child Seven Siblings and Other Strangers Eight Playdates: The Social Coin of the Realm Part Three Social Skills at School: Reading, 'Riting, 'Rithmetic, and Relationships Nine Bullies, Victims, and Spectators: Strategies to Prevent Teasing, Intimidation, and Harassment in School Ten Mastering the Hidden Curriculum of School: The Unwritten, Unspoken Rules Eleven Teacher-Pleasing Behaviors: Polishing the Apple Part Four Social Skills in the Community: No Kid Is an Island Twelve Appropriate Social Skills in Public Places Thirteen Meeting, Making, and Keeping Friends Conclusion Appendix Index