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Couples in distress enter therapy holding two goals that they now experience as mutually exclusive: to feel loved and to feel understood. Toni Herbine-Blank's powerful new brand of couple therapy, Intimacy from the Inside Out (IFIO), offers a comprehensive conceptual map for achieving both goals. In a tour de force of elegant case illustrations wrapped around clear instruction, this book shows the IFIO therapist working with the natural subdivisions - or parts - of the human mind in a dyad, guiding and supporting couples to understand how they project childhood injury into current relationships and then, feeling threatened, frustrated and angry, lose track of their underlying needs to feel safe, connected and loved. With a focus on generating internal attachment stability to sustain each partner through the moments when the other is unavailable, couples in IFIO therapy reconnect with their essential needs, change their conversations and learn to make requests that invite rather than threaten in order to get those needs met.
Toni Herbine-Blank, MSN, RN, is a senior trainer for the IFS Institute and the sole developer for the Intimacy from the Inside Out training programs. She runs couple therapy training programs, retreats, and workshops nationally and internationally, and has coauthored the book Intimacy from the Inside Out: Courage and Compassion in Couple Therapy
Foreword Richard Schwartz Introduction 1. The Origins of Intimacy from the Inside Out Therapy I. Beginning 2. Getting to Know the Couple and Introducing the Model 2. The Flow and Eddies of the Middle 3. Tracking Cycles 4. Courageous Communication 5. Individual Work 6. Countertransference in Couple Therapy 7. Negotiating Needs 8. You, Me, We? Negotiating Corresponding Needs that Conflict 9. Shaming and Feeling Shamed in Couple Therapy 10. Deepening Experiential Work 11. What Makes a Difficult Case Difficult? 3. Ending 12. Repairing Relationship Rupture Appendix 1. Unblending Appendix 2. Unburdening Glossary References Index
